The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

"After an eternity of seeking the sudden threshold of seeing and finding leaves one filled with a strange paradox of ecstasy and grief. I was born to see."...



I dont talk about my spirituality much... at least not online cuz basically..Im not sure its anyones business *grin* but I figured Id state simply for the record....despite what seems to be a growing misconception....Im NOT WICCAN...but ANY stretch of the imagination *smile*. So please dont underestimate me by assuming that Im all fluff and cotton candy... *wink*



In the neopagan communities here and abouts theres much emphasis on staying on the "right" path...ie ....the 3 fold law, Wiccan rede.....you know, the whole white light thing. While that in and of itself isnt necessarily a bad thing, for myself..... I tend to walk the line between light and dark and will hop over the the dark side when and if the situation requires or I feel the urge to explore the and commune with the "darker" aspects of my spirit.



I am by no means "white light" despite what peoples first impressions may be. Not everyone who occasionally practices "left handed" spirituality (for lack of a better term) walks around dressed all in black with black lipstick. Another common misconception is that anyone who practices the left handed path is automatically a "bad" person...this is not true by any stretch of the imagination. Personally...... I dont beat puppies, I dont tie virgins to railroad tracks and I dont toss banana peels in old folks homes *grin*. As a matter of fact.... I have an extremely kind and forgiving nature... (sometimes too much for my own good) Normally the only way most folks have an idea I can and do (on occasion) tread that line..... is if I tell them. I am not a Satanist, although I understand and agree with the various Satanic philosophies and Im certainly NOT Wiccan although I have studied, in depth various Wiccan trads.



Why? Well for myself..its about balance and quite frankly... I honestly believethat there are situations where the "left" handed path is required. Too much anything... even "goodness and light" can throw someone out of wack...IMHO. Not to mention... Im just not sure that human nature is one that can "truely" be about "white light" all the time. Dont get me wrong... Im NOT putting anyone down for the spiritual choices because me, myself have walked various spiritual paths but over time, I have found that a constant barrage of "light" just doesnt work for me. My spiritual "search" isnt for "truth" nor is it for "light or dark".... It seems simply to be a search for anything that takes me out of this realm and opens myself up to something other than what I would classify as "normal perception".....to go beyond.... into the ecstacy of spirit... and quite honestly.. I can find that in MANY MANY ways and within MANY MANY spiritual paths, so I dont have to hug a tree to do that *wink*







Surely you will not calculate any essential difference from mere appearances; for the light laughter that bubbles on the lip often mantles over brackish depths of sadness, and the serious look may be the sober veil that covers a divine peace. You know that the bosom can ache beneath diamond brooches; and how many blithe hearts dance under coarse wool!

- Edwin Hubbell Chapin

Ive come to a point in my life where I am simply what I am at that exact moment. I want to relish and immerse myself in those moments, expressing myself and who I am and who I strive to be. I want to feel the scent of the flowers and hear the heat of the sun. I want to drown myself in the overwhelming ecstacy that flows through me as I open myself to the world around me. I want to throw myself into the chaotic conglomerant of stimuli that exists in universe around me, soaking up all that I can....hiding it away in my heart, spirit and mind.



I refuse to be scared of the unknown or yet to be experienced....things dont frighten me that much anymore... for what is there to fear? Death is just another transition so why live your life terrified of the grim reaper. Just as life will go on no matter what "tragedies" befall us...so really..what is there to fear? I want to live the life I have, experience all that there is to experience... journey into places and realms I have yet to know. Pain, pleasure all rolled into one... to simply open myself and experience... roll myself in a blanket of ecstacy and to live.